Jokes in category: “superstitions”:

I bet Bigfoot is jealous of his cousins publicity.
I mean we're always finding Carbonfoot Prints.

Submitted by: giorgiss

Adults do not believe in Santa Claus. But they still listen to the weather forecast and go to the election!

Submitted by: giorgiss

I'm a bit of a control freak, and I'm getting on a bit now, but I wanted the perfect grandchildren before I said goodbye to the world.
Naming my daughter 'David's Mum' really got that sorted.

Submitted by: giorgiss

Its Friday the 13th. This simply means that most students will blame witchcraft for their regular stupidity.

Submitted by: giorgiss

If you walk under a ladder, you're bound to get married.

Submitted by: giorgiss

People say if you open an umbrella indoors, it's said to bring bad luck..
Personally i think, if it's raining indoors.. You've already had your bad luck.

Submitted by: giorgiss

Husband Ratings.
-You buy her a new car. +5
It's a pick-up truck. -5
With the license plate: GR8 LAY -10
-You cook her a meal. +2
It's out of a packet. -1
It's still in the packet when you serve it. -10
You buy her extra-light panty liners with wings. +3
In the snow. +5
But return with a beer. -5
You check out a suspicious noise at night. +1
It's nothing. +1
It's something. +3
You pummel it with a six-iron. +10
It's her pet -10
At a party, you stay by her the entire night. +1
You leave her side after a while to chat to an old college drinking buddy. -2
Her name is Selina. -4
Selina is a dancer. -6
Selina has implants. -8
You take her to a movie. +1
You take her to a movie she likes. +3
You take her to a movie you hate. +5
You take her to a movie you like. -2
It's called Death Cop 3. -4
Which features cyborgs that eat people. -8
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. -10

Submitted by: giorgiss

I always stick to the 5 second rule when I drop food.
But apparently serving it at the Ritz can get you fired

Submitted by: giorgiss

I don't think this is the first time a Hatiian Witchdoctor has put a spell on me.
I've got this terrible feeling of de ja voodoo.

Submitted by: giorgiss

Does it still count as good luck when you run over two magpies?

Submitted by: giorgiss