A man was walking in the city, when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking tramp who asked him for a couple of pounds for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted two quid and asked, "If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whisky?"
"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the tramp said.
"Will you use it to gamble?"
"I don't gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?"
"Are you MAD? I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
The man said, "Well, I'm not going to give you two quid. Instead, I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." The tramp was astounded.
"Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."
The man replied, "Hey, man, that's OK! I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up drinking, gambling, and golf!"Submitted by: giorgiss
For sale: tumble dryer, sleeps one.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I was walking through the park and I saw an old guy doing Tai Chi.
I watched him for a while, marvelling at his moves.
Only when I got closer did I see it was a tramp trying to put on his coat.Submitted by: giorgiss
A tramp stopped me in the street and asked if I had any loose change.
I jiggled my trouser pocket and said, "It appears that I do."
I thanked him for his interest and walked onSubmitted by: giorgiss
I'd love to help the homeless people....
I just don't know where they live.Submitted by: giorgiss
I was in London the other day and this tramp came up to me and said, "Mister, I haven't tasted food in a week."
I said, "Don't worry, it still tastes the same."Submitted by: giorgiss
79% of accidents happen in the home. Finally, good news for the homeless.
Submitted by: giorgiss
A man approached me in the street.
"Can you spare 20p please? I'm homeless."
I said, "You won't find a house for 20 pence around here mate."Submitted by: giorgiss
Wouldn't tramps make more money if they stopped working from home?
Submitted by: giorgiss
I was wondering if my shoes looked too tight because everytime I walk through town I seem to get some homeless crack junky asking me if I want to buy a bigger shoe.
Submitted by: giorgiss
