A tramp stopped me in the street earlier.
"Any odd change on you mate?" He frowned.
"Only even sorry," I replied.Submitted by: giorgiss
I had between 5 and 6 whisky chasers last night.
I really wish the off license wasn't next to the homeless shelter.Submitted by: giorgiss
Did you know?....
...that if we collected together all of the money from wasted electricity in one day....
....and gave it to the homeless....
.....they'd probably spend it on booze.Submitted by: giorgiss
I tried to get the local tramp to play football down the park,
He had a couple of good games but ended up on the bench for the rest of the day.Submitted by: giorgiss
How come all the supposedly homeless people in London seem to be sleeping in doors?
Submitted by: giorgiss
Advice for enterprising tramps and homeless. Invest in a card swipe machine for those awkward occasions when your target 'doesn't have any change' on them.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Just walked out of the shop and tramp approached me and said, "Have you got a spare cigarette?"
I said, "Hang on a minute, mate," as I took a full pack from my pocket and opened them...
I said, "No, mate, there's only 20 in it."Submitted by: giorgiss
I saw a tramp today who had a rough beard, torn clothes and long dirty fingernails. I could smell him a mile away and he looked freezing. Totally helpless he was, I felt sorry for him.
Glad I'm not like that, I'd hate to be in his shoe.Submitted by: giorgiss
A beggar asked me today if I had any spare change.
I told him that I was sorry and that I'd left it at home in my spare wallet.Submitted by: giorgiss
There's an old trampy guy who lives in a battered old shed near me. He's always smiling.
The other day I said to him, "What's the secret of happiness, mate?"
He said, "Throw away all your possessions!"
I said, "How can that make you happy?"
He said, "I need your telly and video for my shed!"Submitted by: giorgiss
