My mate said I was too fat to climb a wall.
I still can't get over it.Submitted by: giorgiss
I approached a girl in a bar and told her she was one in a million. "Thanks" she said "That's very sweet of you!" "Oh" I said "It's not a compliment. I just can't imagine that there are 999,999 uglier people.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I'd hate to be a woman.
Besides the periods, the hair and beauty traumas, weight issues, and all the housework they have to do, have you noticed how they always seem to turn a funny orange/tan colour around winter time?Submitted by: giorgiss
If you ever get attacked by a tiger just throw moisturiser cream at him.
Blocks the paws.Submitted by: giorgiss
I lent my friend a glue stick the other day instead of a chapstick.
She still isn't talking to me.Submitted by: giorgiss
I've almost finished developing an anti-ageing product and my wife has agreed to let me trial it on her tonight.
I just need to find a silencer now.Submitted by: giorgiss
I realised I was getting old the other day when my hairdresser spent more time on shaving my ears and eyebrows than she did on shaving my head.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Women must think I'm a handyman, since "help" is the first word out of their mouth when they see me.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Dear L'Oreal,
How do you know your products work if they weren't tested on animals?Submitted by: giorgiss
Just heard that Ashleigh Hall who was killed in County Durham was 'a lovely, lovely kid' who was 'the nicest'.
Obviously she was nice - she had to be.
She was hideous.Submitted by: giorgiss
