I came home last night to find my son had thrown a party. The place was trashed.
There was only one punishment that would be sufficient.
So I fingered his mother while we slow danced in the front room.Submitted by: giorgiss
I took my new girlfriend to the cinema last night, we sat at the back...
There's less chance of people seeing us together.Submitted by: giorgiss
Three men, one american, one mexican, and one chinese, were hiking in an unknown mountain. They suddenly discovered a big cave. So they each decided to test its echo.
The american man shouted his name: "Tom"
The echo replied: "Tom"
The mexican man shouted his name: "Carlito"
The echo replied: "Carlito"
The Chinese man shouted his name: "Ching Chong Lao Song"
The echo replied: "what?"Submitted by: giorgiss
As a Kid I hated losing, so I played with myself.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I saw this hot girl walking towards me, so I tried to impress her and stood next to this really expensive Ferrari.
As she came closer to me....she said, "Excuse me" and got in her car and left.Submitted by: giorgiss
What's funnier than seeing a fat guy fall over?
Watching him cradle himself to sleep trying to get back up.Submitted by: giorgiss
I farted in front of my new girlfriend's mother last night.
She was not impressed.
I'll try harder next time I see her, and make the fart louder and longer.Submitted by: giorgiss
As we drove past an elderly couple walking a Labrador earlier, my girlfriend said to me:
"Isn't it weird, ever since we have had a dog, I now always notice lots of dogs when we're out"
I said, "I know exactly what you mean, ever since I've had a girlfriend, I now notice lots of girls when we're out!"Submitted by: giorgiss
Riverdance.........
The only time it's acceptable to cheer on a gingerSubmitted by: giorgiss
What's the difference between brussel sprouts and snot?
You'll never surprise your kids eating their brussel sprouts.Submitted by: giorgiss
