I'm typing this from my hospital bed and I'm having problems understanding the accent of my East European nurse, so a moment ago I simply smiled and nodded.
Considering what is happening now, I hope he said "Do you want an enema?".Submitted by: giorgiss
I took my car for a service last week... Waste of time though, couldn't quite fit it through the church doors!
Submitted by: giorgiss
"Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People."
This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:
1. Knowledge is Power.
2. Time is Money.
As every engineer knows:
Power = Work / Time
Since:
Knowledge = Power
Time = Money
It follows that:
Knowledge = Work/Money.
Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.
Conclusion:
The less you know,the more you make.Submitted by: giorgiss
My wife came into the same pub as me and my mates and walked up to me "look at you acting all cool as if you can't be bothered talking to me"
"sorry fatso do I know you?" I repliedSubmitted by: giorgiss
Throwing a chocolate bar at fat girls 'cos they look like they need a Boost.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Research shows that at least 99% of N-Dubz fan will get 3 GCSE's
Between them.Submitted by: giorgiss
Last night I tried one of those tricks where you light your farts on fire. I couldn't find a lighter, so I used a candle.
Completely ruined my Grandmothers birthday cake.Submitted by: giorgiss
I accidentally liked a girls picture on facebook.
Doesn't help that it was of her Dad's gravestone.Submitted by: giorgiss
Anyone else tried J20 after 8 pints of lager. I tried but still ended up going round the M25.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I was at the motorway services the other day when a man in a yellow coat shouted over to me, "Are you with the AA, sir?".
I shouted back at him, "Do I look like an alcoholic!"Submitted by: giorgiss
