Jokes in category: “holidays”:

My friend bungee jumped off Blackpool pier.
I was quite impressed.
I would not dare go to Blackpool.

Submitted by: giorgiss

6 star hotels are a bit overrated.

Submitted by: giorgiss

When we get back from being abroad on holiday. My wife always
reminds me of a christmas decoration.
Round, red, shiny and covered in cheap gold.

Submitted by: giorgiss

Well I've just KISSed my holiday goodbye.

Submitted by: giorgiss

My wife came home and told me that she had booked us a holiday and it would involve getting on a plane in two weeks.
She added, "I know how excited you can get but do try not to show me up."
I didn't have time to be annoyed with her comment as I only had 13 sleeps and I needed to pack.

Submitted by: giorgiss

Me and the wife were going on holiday for a week. When we were packing she turned to me and said "Why don't we pack each other's suit cases?"
I said "Okay sounds fun." When we got ourselves checked into the hotel we were staying at, I opened my suitcase to find 3 pairs of speedos, a few tank tops and 2 pairs of sandals. "Very funny" I said.
My wife opened hers to find a one way ticket back to England.

Submitted by: giorgiss

For my Wifes Xmas I booked us a weeks holiday in Sharm el Sheikh.
As a wee extra I've just signed her up for a 1 week intensive Scuba Diving course.

Submitted by: giorgiss

You know there's nothing in this world that makes me feel quite as happy as when I told my kids that we where going to disneyland for our holidays this year
It's not the excitement in their faces or how happy they where, it was the total devestation when I told them it was disneyland paris

Submitted by: giorgiss

I'm extremely proud of my wife after successfully swimming the Channel.
I was with her all the way, shouting my support from the boat through a megaphone.
I'm just sorry I couldn't afford a second ferry ticket.

Submitted by: giorgiss

A word of warning to women, if you don't want to spend 2 weeks in the desert, sleeping inside a dead camel.
then don't ask us to book a honeymoon while watching bear grylls!

Submitted by: giorgiss