My son kept saying, "Dad, Dad I'm hot, I'm hot. I need an ice cream. Can I get one please?"
He just kept going on and on, so in the end I couldn't take the whinging any more. I gave in and I got him a Magnum.
He used it to rob the ice cream man.Submitted by: giorgiss
Teacher: "Johnny, why have you not given me your homework?"
Little Johnny: "I made it into a paper aeroplane and someone hijacked it."Submitted by: giorgiss
Any-one else think you're just pushing your luck if you name your child "Little Johnny"?
Submitted by: giorgiss
Little Johnny comes home with wet hair.
"Why is your hair wet, Johnny?" asks his mother
"Me and Bobby were playing doggy," says Johnny.
"That doesn't make your hair wet."
"It does when it's your turn to be the lamp post."Submitted by: giorgiss
Pastor: "Do you know where little boys and girls go when they do bad things?"
Little Johnny: "Sure, back of the church yard."Submitted by: giorgiss
little johnny returns home from school and says "mum, i got a question right today" the mum says "wonderful, what was the question?" little johnny replies "who's farted"
Submitted by: giorgiss
Little Johnny woke up in the middle of the night and cried until his mother came in to see what was the matter.
"I have to make pee pee", wailed Little Johnny.
"All right," said his mother, "I'll take you to the bathroom."
"No" insisted Little Johnny, "I want Grandma."
"Don't be silly, I can do the same thing as Grandma," said his mother firmly."
"Nuh-uh. Her hands shake." replied Little Johnny.Submitted by: giorgiss
Little Johnny is staying with Grandma and Grandpa for the weekend. When his mum comes to pick him up, she asks him how it was.
"Boring!" says Johnny
"Why?"
"Gran and Grandad sat around on the sofa with nothing on!"
"Whaaaat?"
"Yeah, nothing on... no telly, no computer, no stereo, no radio..."Submitted by: giorgiss
Little Johnny turns to his mum an says:
"When you found out you were pregnant what did you want me to be?"
"Stillborn"Submitted by: giorgiss
Little Johnny's mother taught him to say 'whisper' whenever he had to 'tinkle.' One day Little Johnny's grandpa paid them a visit. He was lying on the couch taking a nap when Little Johnny came up to him and said, "Grandpa, I have to whisper." Without opening his eyes, his grandpa said, "Whisper in my ear, son." When Little Johnny's mom heard a yell that carried for several blocks, she came running. "What's the matter?" she cried. Then, seeing Little Johnny she asked, "Did Little Johnny have to whisper?" "Yes!" the old man shouted, "Thank God he didn't have to shout!"
Submitted by: giorgiss
