Little Johnny is at the zoo with his dad and seems to be having a great time, but when they get to the lion's cage, his face turns pale and he looks terrified.
"What's up, Johnny?"
"I was just wondering, Dad," says Johnny. "If the lion escapes from its cage and eats you ... what bus do I take to get home?"Submitted by: giorgiss
Little Johnny is sent to the store to buy nuts by his mum. On his way, he comes across a circus, the main attraction of which was a life-sized robot of King Kong. Little Johnny, obviously, forgets all about the errand and heads into the circus. He sees the robot, and immediately rushes back home to tell his mother about it.
"Mummmy, mummy!" he yells, "They have a life-sized robot of King Kong at the circus! He's HUGE, mum! His arms, HUGE, mum, HUGE! His legs, HUGE, mum, HUGE! His head, HUGE, mum, HUGE!"
To which his mother replies, "Yes, that's nice, but what about the nuts?"
"HUGE, mum, HUGE!"Submitted by: giorgiss
The teacher asked Little Johnny, "Name ten animals from Africa."
He said, "Nine elephants and a giraffe."Submitted by: giorgiss
Little Johnny comes to school with a bruised cheek.
"Why is your right cheek so red?" asks the teacher.
"Because daddy's left-handed."Submitted by: giorgiss
A little boy and girl at school were having lunch in the shelter shed.
"Tommy," she said, "I'm not eating any more chicken sandwiches."
"Why?" he asked.
"'Cause I'm starting to grow feathers down here," she said, pointing to the bottom of her tummy.
"I don't believe you," he said. "You'll have to show me."
Behind the shed they went, where the inspection took place.
"You're right," he said. "I've been eating a lot of chicken also. Perhaps I'm getting feathers too."
"Well, I'd better have a look," she said.
After a lengthy examination, she looked up and said, "Oh, I think it's too late for you. You've got the neck and giblets too."Submitted by: giorgiss
Little Johnny came into the bathroom while his mother was taking a shower. He asked, "Mum,
what's that between your legs?"
She told him that was her squirrel.
Later that day he was in the bathroom again while Gran was taking a shower and he asked, "Gran, what's that between your legs?"
She replied, "That's my squirrel."
Then little Johnny said, "Mommy has one too, but hers is not as gray as yours."
Grandma replied, "That's because your mum's squirrel hasn't cracked as many nuts as mine has!"Submitted by: giorgiss
I treat my women how I treat my condoms;
I eventually break them and put them in the bin.Submitted by: giorgiss
The teacher asked Little Johnny to spell "straight".
Little Johnny did so without any errors.
"Well done and what is the meaning of 'straight'?" said the teacher.
Little Johnny quickly replied, "Without water in it."Submitted by: giorgiss
One day, Little Johnny asks his mother "Why are some of your hairs white?"
She replies "Every time you do something that upsets me, one of my strands of hair goes white."
He nods, then asks "Grandma is your mother, isn't she?"
"That's right."
He thinks for a moment, then asks "So how come ALL of her hair is white?"Submitted by: giorgiss
"Open up, It's social services. We are hear to talk about your son Johnny"
Submitted by: giorgiss
