It was good advice when someone told me I'd never meet the woman of my dreams at a bar. The women in my dreams aren't old enough to get in.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Here's a useful shopping tip - You can get a pair of shoes for 1 in the bowling alley.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Trying to be funny is like trying to force a fart - it never turns out quite as you expect and you'll likely have to leave the room.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Top tip:
If you have a paranoid friend and they leave their mobile lying around, pick it up and add little reminders like "I'm watching you" and "You're not alone" to random dates.
Epic lols!Submitted by: giorgiss
Give a man a fish and you've fed him for a day. But teach a man to wear a fishnet stocking for a mask and hold up a bank and you've taken care of him for life, one way or another.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Amuse yourself when filling in application forms.
When it asks "Are you registered blind or partially-sighted?" tick slightly outside the box that says "No".Submitted by: giorgiss
UK GOVERNMENT. Reduce the amount of underage pregnancies in Britain by simply lowering the age of consent.
Submitted by: giorgiss
The only thing more boring than watching paint dry...
listening to paint dry.Submitted by: giorgiss
Ladies, you can't be ugly and play hard to get. It just doesn't work that way.
You're already hard to want.Submitted by: giorgiss
Top Tip:
Go down the pub so you don't feel guilty watching your wife do all the housework.Submitted by: giorgiss
