Wife came back from the hospital in a right state.
Said shed been diagnosed with a lump in her breast.
I sat her down and told her how when I get lumps in my porridge it narks me no end as well.
I went on to say the situation could be much serious, like she could have lost her keys for instance.
At that moment she burst uncontrollably into tears.
I think it was the sense of perspective Id given her, then a huge relief just flooding its way out. I nodded sagaciously.
I might try this counselling lark as a career move, its a piece of cake.Submitted by: giorgiss
Giraffes look down on people like you
Submitted by: giorgiss
Top Tip #87
Freezing worms makes them easier to sharpen.Submitted by: giorgiss
Manufacturers of Dulux 'Once'. I think the word you're looking for is 'twice'.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Top tip on asking a girl out:
Just stare at her. By not blinking, you're showing her that you're an Alpha Male.Submitted by: giorgiss
Top tip: Save money on expensive cremation costs by purposely dying in a house fire.
Submitted by: giorgiss
How to be a good author
1.Avoid alliteration. Always
2.One-word sentences? Eliminate.
3.Who needs rhetorical questions?
4.Be more or less specific
5.Comparisons are as bad as clichesSubmitted by: giorgiss
You can't choose your family,....but you can ignore their phone calls.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Dear Deirdre
Ever since I've been able to write, I've had problems with people recognising me for my work. It's really getting me down. Can you please help?
Anon.Submitted by: giorgiss
My mate recently became a black belt in judo.
I said, "That's all very well but, really, how often are you going to be attacked by a man in a dressing-gown?"Submitted by: giorgiss
