A guy went into a bar and found himself beside a scruffy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. He leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, "Well, it looks plastic." Then he rolled it between his fingers, adding, "But it feels like rubber."
Curious, the guy asked, "What do you have there?"
The drunk replied, "I don't know, but it looks like plastic and feels like rubber."
The guy responded, "Let me take a look."
So the drunk handed it over and the guy rolled it between his thumb and fingers, then examined it closely by sniffing and licking it. "Yeah, it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, has no significant smell or taste. I sure don't know what it is. Where did you get it?"
The drunk replied, "Out of my nose".Submitted by: giorgiss
I picked up a sandwich in the local Subway earlier... I'm a tramp
Submitted by: giorgiss
I was taking a walk along the street yesterday when I bought a copy of the Big Issue from a bloke.
The bloke said, "Its my last copy mate".
I said, "Lucky you! You'll get home early tonight then"Submitted by: giorgiss
Homeless Guy goes to the Doctors, The Doctor examines him and says, " Here take this three times a day with water", "What is it?" asks the Homeless Guy, Doctor replies "Soap"
Submitted by: giorgiss
I walked past a beggar today with a dog. I thought, "how can he afford to keep a dog if he can't even afford to feed himself?"
Some people have got more money than sense.Submitted by: giorgiss
The biggest cause of homeless peoples deaths?
My hammer.Submitted by: giorgiss
I truly admire the ambition of beggars who sit beside ATMs
Submitted by: giorgiss
More riotting set for London streets.
Here is the postcode for your sat nav. N16 6ER.Submitted by: giorgiss
The Fosters advert shows Brits asking two Aussies for social advice.
Surely that's like asking a homeless person for advice about mortgages.Submitted by: giorgiss
A bloke knocked at the door this morning collecting for the homeless.
So I gave him some old cardboard and my daughter's recorder.Submitted by: giorgiss
