Jokes in category: “money”:

Pound shops,
Latin name: Primark

Submitted by: giorgiss

My wife didn't seem too bothered when I told her I'd lost my front door key the other night.
Until I explained that the house had been repossessed.

Submitted by: giorgiss

If I had a pound for every business I've failed at,
I could afford to start a beanstalk farm.

Submitted by: giorgiss

I was never around when my son was growing up but I've been trying to make it up to him recently.
Well, he needs someone to look after him. There will be a lot of people trying to take advantage when they find out about his 127m lottery win.

Submitted by: giorgiss

Now that I'm married, I keep a photo of my family where I used to keep my money when I was single.

Submitted by: giorgiss

I spent my life's savings on a disused goldmine.
My friends keep having a dig.

Submitted by: giorgiss

A report says that a growing number of Britons are worth 1 million.
The bad news is last year they were worth 5 million

Submitted by: giorgiss

I've got a pony in my pocket.
Or at least that's what I tell all the girls.

Submitted by: giorgiss

How comes, when you have a girlfriend all they want is your wood. But when you get married, all they want is your paper?

Submitted by: giorgiss

"Strapped for cash? Sell your pregnancy and baby
items!"
These internet adverts sure do have a way of raising a man's hopes, to bitterly disappoint.

Submitted by: giorgiss