I knew my finances were bad, but I didn't realise how bad they were until I put my card in the cash machine today.
The machine swallowed my card and a message popped up saying, 'GAME OVER'Submitted by: giorgiss
What do you find at the bottom of a Jewish wishing well?
Dead Jews with broken rappels.Submitted by: giorgiss
They say money can't buy happiness.
Not once have I seen a tramp with a smile on his face.Submitted by: giorgiss
I've just bought a pub for a pound.
Bar gain.Submitted by: giorgiss
My girlfriend's been trying to help me with my finances.
I think I'd be better off a loan.Submitted by: giorgiss
Why did Americans invent drive-in banks?
So that cars could occasionally be seen by their owners.Submitted by: giorgiss
I was so stressed at being behind in the mortgage repayments I ended up punching my three year old in the mouth.
It should get me about 100 from the tooth fairy.Submitted by: giorgiss
I have always told my children not to marry for money; you can borrow it more cheaply.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Checking your bank statements and realising the Council Tax direct debit doesn't go out this month feels just like winning 100 on a scratch card.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I just saved myself a fortune in postage by filling my car up with petrol and delivering the letter myself.
Submitted by: giorgiss
