I've failed my electricians practical exam over a dozen times.
I'll do it in the end though, just got to keep plugging away.Submitted by: giorgiss
My psychiatrist told me that I am dependant on complete strangers opinion of me.
I disagree with him.
What do you guys think?Submitted by: giorgiss
I was first in a police line-up today.
Someone had to get the conga started at the station's Christmas party.Submitted by: giorgiss
I saw a sign at the side of the road earlier,
'POLICE
THERE WAS A FATAL CRASH HERE SUNDAY
CAN YOU HELP'
It's a bit late to be asking for help now.
I could have if they had put the signs up a week earlier.Submitted by: giorgiss
Microsoft has shown off its "virtual human" that reacts to a person's emotions, body movements and voice.
Doctor's receptionists, Post Office counter workers and Marks & Spencer employees are already in discussion with their unions over possible redundancies.Submitted by: giorgiss
I love going to see my female gynaecologist...
She has such genital hands.Submitted by: giorgiss
My hot air balloon business has gone bust. Ive never felt so deflated.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I went to the doctors and told him I had a sharp pain in my back. He said 'You have a large key in your back, like you get on those mechanical toy cars.'
I turned to him and said 'Are you winding me up?'Submitted by: giorgiss
G20 inquest: Pc pushed Tomlinson 'to move him away'.
Yeah, like the yanks move people away with their AC130s.Submitted by: giorgiss
I have a really easy time picking up girls.
All I say is, "Would you like to come with me?"
If they get cheeky, I slap a pair of kinky handcuffs on them and lead them out to my car.
I love being a policeman.Submitted by: giorgiss
