Jokes in category: “professions”:

I woke up yesterday morning & found that my skin had turned black. I went straight round to the doctors, who told me "Sorry, there is nothing I can do, you are stuck with it" "Don't you even have any practical advice?" I pleaded.
"Yes" he said "We don't keep anything of value in the surgery overnight"

Submitted by: giorgiss

People sometimes ask if it bothers me that a police station is right beside my house.
I actually like it because if I get arrested in town, it's a lot cheaper than taking a cab home.

Submitted by: giorgiss

My dad lets no one stand in his way.
He's a bulldozer operator.

Submitted by: giorgiss

So 8 Strathclyde Police officers have listed their religion as Jedi.
Let the force jokes begin.

Submitted by: giorgiss

Why do Traffic Wardens have a yellow line round their hat?
So people don't park on their heads.

Submitted by: giorgiss

I just don't know if women like me.
I know when they don't like me because they'll say things like, 'Yeah, that's him, officer.'

Submitted by: giorgiss

Policeman 'raped women on duty'
I've never been more scared of meeting a bent copper than I am now.

Submitted by: giorgiss

What is it about police station stairs that makes black people trip up so often?

Submitted by: giorgiss

My doctor said, "How badly has the amnesia affected you?"
I said, "Amnesia?"

Submitted by: giorgiss

What do you call an artist with asthma?
Van Cough

Submitted by: giorgiss