Lost your tree?
Why not nail a picture of it to your dog?Submitted by: giorgiss
Dear Tabloid Agony Aunt,
I keep seeking out advice for serious issues from dangerously under-qualified people. What do you suggest I do?Submitted by: giorgiss
If you ever get arrested wait till the cop says "Anything you say will be taken down and used in evidence against you."
Then you say this. "I have nothing to say. I, on the other hand, find you very attractive, your honour, and am struggling to contain myself."
Then watch his face when he has to read that out in court.Submitted by: giorgiss
There's a little-known but foolproof defence against sharks.
Sharks will only attack you if you're wet.Submitted by: giorgiss
Sickipedia's motto - If you can't beat them, copy them.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Call Of Duty Gamers. Temporarily blind and disorientate your opponent by unexpectedly ripping open his bedroom curtains.
Submitted by: giorgiss
COMMUTERS. When you leave your house, sprint the first 200 yards and then revert back to your regular walking speed. This will save you from having to do the run of shame for the bus nearer the stop and look like a fool when you miss it.
Submitted by: giorgiss
My boyfriend says that I never solve my own problems.
How do I prove him wrong?Submitted by: giorgiss
I asked my teacher for advice when taking my maths exam and he said that you should always read through the paper first.
That's the last time I listen to him. I was halfway through my horoscope when I heard, "Okay, pencils down."Submitted by: giorgiss
Save money on a bigger TV by simply moving the couch closer to your existing one.
Submitted by: giorgiss
