I said to my son, "What did you do at school today?"
He said, "We learnt about all the capitals."
"How many do you know?" I asked.
He said, "All of them."
I said, "All of them, are you sure?"
He said, "Yes, they're just like the small letters, but you write them a bit bigger."Submitted by: giorgiss
Just opened my fortune cookie from lunch:
"Others appreciate your good sense of humour today."
Chin Li didn't look so happy when I did a runner without payingSubmitted by: giorgiss
A mate of mine is a part-time DJ. I got a text from him today that said, 'Had a gig last nite, DJ'ing nxt 2 deadmau5!'
They really should hire a cleaner at that club.Submitted by: giorgiss
A girl I know posted on Facebook, "Anyone know someone who has Ann Summers parties?"
I replied, "Lots of people have parties in the summer. Your grammar is terrible, by the way."Submitted by: giorgiss
I saw Mick Philpott today.
"How could you do that?" I shouted.
"I didn't start the fire!" he retorted.
"I was talking about your wife."Submitted by: giorgiss
I cooked a lovely lasagne and took it to the bank with me, but they said it was "an unsuitable form of identification."
Strange... it's my signature dish?!Submitted by: giorgiss
Skinny Jeans.
For guys who took "I got in her pants" the wrong way.Submitted by: giorgiss
My boss said, "You've been late into the store nearly every day since you started here. Well not any more. Do you understand?"
"Yeah I think so. You're going to make the opening times later."Submitted by: giorgiss
These Adalia Rose jokes are getting old really fast, ironically so is she.
Submitted by: giorgiss
my new year's resolution is to tell more lies to people, Or is it.
Submitted by: giorgiss
