BBC News: "Prison vote warning for May polls."
I really don't think a harmless bit of morris dancing will do these hard-nut serial killers any harm.Submitted by: giorgiss
Just got back from my first weight watchers meeting. Everyone got on really well with each other. They laughed and joked and told stories about how they tried to lose weight.
I felt a bit guilty sitting on the balcony with my binoculars and popcornSubmitted by: giorgiss
My Mum found me with dirty mags in my room.
"Mum i can explain."
"No be quite, thats disgusting, son."
"But mum there was no toilet paper left i had no choice."Submitted by: giorgiss
It was my sons fourth birthday and we couldn't think what to give him. My wife said, "Why don't we give him Up."
I thought that's a great idea.
I had just finished packing his bags and put him in the car when my wife arrived back home with a Disney pixar dvd.Submitted by: giorgiss
I was telling my wife how we should really buy a lottery ticket this week.
"Roll over?" she said.
Now I'm on the floor.Submitted by: giorgiss
"Nurse come quick" I screamed, "We need help over here now!"
"What's the matter?" She shouted as she ran down the corridor towards us,
"The vending machine" I replied, "It has taken our pound coin."Submitted by: giorgiss
"I can sleep for England."
Apparently isn't a good enough excuse as to why I fell asleep at my sentry-post.Submitted by: giorgiss
The cream I just had with my coffee wasn't as 'brill' as the tub said.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Marrage: A misunderstanding between two people.
Submitted by: giorgiss
i was doing a crossword and asked my mate what 6 down was- "Combustion is rife".
"Fire" he said.
And that misunderstanding is what led to me losing my job as a gunner in the Royal Navy.Submitted by: giorgiss
