So the back of this guy's anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him.
I said, 'do you earn a living doing that?'
He said, 'yes, this is my livelihood.'Submitted by: giorgiss
When I was a kid I used to love Meccano. I would spend ages alone in my room, with my tool in my hand, tightening my little nuts.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I got beaten up by a guy with a big nose and curly hair.
I think he knew jew-jitsu.Submitted by: giorgiss
Apparently a truck carrying boxes of wigs has overturned, spilling its load across the M1.
Police are combing the area.Submitted by: giorgiss
You know that you're getting old when your narrow waist swaps places with your broad mind.
Submitted by: giorgiss
My son kept saying, "Dad, Dad I'm hot, I'm hot. I need an ice cream. Can I get one please?"
He just kept going on and on, so in the end I couldn't take the whinging any more. I gave in and I got him a Magnum.
He used it to rob the ice cream man.Submitted by: giorgiss
I have come to the realisation that I am in fact, a man trapped inside a womans body....
I probably shouldn't have put the lube next to the glue...Submitted by: giorgiss
My great grandfather once paid a famous artist to draw a portrait of him.
Unfortunately the artist died half way through and never got to finish the work, so that was a waste of Monet.Submitted by: giorgiss
Understanding the horizon.
It's beyond me.Submitted by: giorgiss
For the record, I bought a vinyl cleaning machine
Submitted by: giorgiss
