Jokes in category: “puns”:

A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no.

Submitted by: giorgiss

I'm a great bird handler, my technique is impeccable.

Submitted by: giorgiss

I had a candlelit dinner the other night.
Everything was really undercooked.

Submitted by: giorgiss

I played in a football match that ended in a 2-2 draw.

No 1-1

Submitted by: giorgiss

I love my English teacher.
I would hate him if he was any other nationality.

Submitted by: giorgiss

I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name.
It's P something T something R.

Submitted by: giorgiss

I used to file my nails, but I thought: 'what's the point in keeping them?'

Submitted by: giorgiss

So I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, "Are you having me on?"
I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything."

Submitted by: giorgiss

I bought a flea circus yesterday, but one of them won't go on the high wire.
It's a nervous tick.

Submitted by: giorgiss

I stole money from a Dutch holy woman.
She was Nun Der Weiser.

Submitted by: giorgiss