Jokes in category: “sarcasm”:

Trying to find a virgin is like looking for a white g string

Submitted by: giorgiss

If I had a pound for every time I blink in a day, Id probably have enough for a tank of petrol.

Submitted by: giorgiss

I've just brought my mate a 10 B&Q gift card...
You never know when you might need a broom and three screws.

Submitted by: giorgiss

I was sitting relaxing watching TV when my mate asked, "If you could do it all over again. Would you do anything different?"
"Yes."
"Really? Which part? What would you change?" He asked excitedly
"My answer to No."

Submitted by: giorgiss

Just driven past a garage and saw a sign that read "cars bought for cash"
Shame that, all I want is a couple of magic beans for mine

Submitted by: giorgiss

Great Almond Street. Apparently there's a big nut-house there...

Submitted by: giorgiss

GCSE MATHS QUESTION 2010
Ted walks into to JJB to buy some trainers. After choosing some trainers from the small selection of shoes he is offered help by a shop worker. The shop worker then disappear out the back for half an hour looking for the shoes. After several times of the shop worker bringing back the wrong size Ted finally gets his shoes. How many pairs of pointless extra laces will he be offered before he can leave the shop?

Submitted by: giorgiss

Thank god for the 'Playstation Move'. I've been waiting for a remote which gives users the opportunity to control a game through physical movement. I wonder where the idea came from?

Submitted by: giorgiss

My fridge has broken down and the engineer cannot come out until next week due to the freezing weather conditions outside.
Great, warm beer all Christmas for me.

Submitted by: giorgiss

Ive just told the wife I have taken out a hefty life insurance policy.
"Is that to plan for the future?" she enquired.
"Sort of" I replied.
"I thought it was a good idea seeing as you have started cooking lessons"

Submitted by: giorgiss