I've just come back from the greatest holiday ever. I'm just reliving the sensation of people watching in complete calm and relaxation by the sea, the hot sun beating down and oblivion of drifting off with the head in a good book ...
I never did see the wife or her Lilo again, once it went out of sight.Submitted by: giorgiss
One of the really hot girls in the office approaches me while I'm getting a coffee and the conversation goes like this:
Her: "Macca, bit of a random question for you."
Me: "Go on..."
Her: "I want to go on holiday in October."
Me: "Right..."
Her: "Whereabouts is it still hot in October, coz I want to be in a bikini!"
Me: "Right, well you want to try somewhere like Africa, Australia, the Caribbean, South America, The Southern States of America... In fact, pretty much anywhere that isn't here."
Her: "What about France?"
Me: "That's pretty much here. Give or take a few hundred miles. I wouldn't bother. Do you know what the equator is?"
Her: "Yeah, that's that thing around the world isn't it?"
Me: "Yeah... Something like that... Well put your finger anywhere along there and chances are it'll still be hot in october."
Her: "What if my finger lands in the sea?"
Me: "Pick it up and start again."
Her: "Thanks Macca!"Submitted by: giorgiss
How does every Ryanair flight start?
With jumpleadsSubmitted by: giorgiss
My drugs councillor has suggested that a holiday would strengthen my will power and reduce my anxiety.
AMSTERDAM...Here I come!Submitted by: giorgiss
Saga Cruises,
So Davy Jones doesnt have to leave the waterSubmitted by: giorgiss
Metro's World Digest: Israel have opened a male only beauty salon staffed entirely by topless women wearing only thongs.
I know where I'm going on holiday this year...
...Blackpool.Submitted by: giorgiss
Went on holiday to Australia last week & I was asked at customs whether I had a criminal record
"Didn't know it was still compulsory" I replied.Submitted by: giorgiss
Last Friday, during my trip round the USA, I stopped off in Michigan for a crazy night out.
It's fair to say by the end of the night I was in a pretty awful state.Submitted by: giorgiss
They say Santa can't come while you're awake. He didn't seem to have that problem when I sat on his knee when I was 8...
Submitted by: giorgiss
In the coming New Year, both Groundhog Day and the American State of the Union address will occur on the same day. It's an ironic juxtaposition of events: one involves a meaningless ritual in which they look to an insignificant creature of little intelligence for prognostication, while the other involves a groundhog.
Submitted by: giorgiss
