I went to Glastonbury and had some awful experiences. The smell of urine and faeces, vomit on the floor and everywhere was soaked. We really shouldn't have stopped at a Travel Lodge on the way back.
Submitted by: giorgiss
My mate has just came back from holiday today, he's looking like a total Paki.
I still don't know why he's wearing that turban, though.Submitted by: giorgiss
I'm taking a gap year next year...
...then a nike year, followed by a reebok year.Submitted by: giorgiss
"My wife's gone to Jordan"
"Amman?"
"No, she's just got big hands, but you're not the first to ask."Submitted by: giorgiss
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face, it wont help at all but at least we wont hear you screaming"
Submitted by: giorgiss
I came home tonight and said to the wife, "Guess what babe? I've booked us a holiday!"
She said, "You're kidding! Where are we going?"
I said,"Well let me put it this way. Do you like camel trekking?"
She said, "Oh my God! India? Africa?"
I said, "No, Blackpool. It's the cheapest way to get there."Submitted by: giorgiss
My friend was off on holiday for a week so I bid him farewell:-
"See you later mate, don't do anything I'd do!"
"Don't you mean 'Don't do anything I wouldn't do?'"
"Um, well unless you'd do your mum and your ten year old sister then, no."
I don't think I'll be seeing much of him anymore.Submitted by: giorgiss
I booked a flight the other day and the lady said, " What side do you want to sit on" and I said " The inside"
Submitted by: giorgiss
Booked myself a holiday in Spain today.
Should've just used a travel agent in England, took me ages to get here.Submitted by: giorgiss
I hate the school holidays.
It's only 9o'clock in the morning and there's kids playing football in the street already.
I wish they would go find something better to do,and let me drink my beer in peace.Submitted by: giorgiss
