I've recently developed a belief in Feng Shui.
The Jeremy Kyle show was on and I turned the TV to face the wall and felt a lot happier.Submitted by: giorgiss
How do you know a woman is wearing tights?
Her knees swell up when she farts.Submitted by: giorgiss
There is a thin line between looking indie and looking homeless.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I recently went to a funeral in Liverpool, people were outraged when I turned up in my best tracksuit...
They'd all came in casual ones.Submitted by: giorgiss
I went to the police station in a top hat, bow tie and flippers.
They said I should 'make a statement'.Submitted by: giorgiss
Why do women feel the need to wear expensive designer clothes in the hope of impressing men?
No straight guy in the history of the world has ever turned to his mates and said, 'check out the Gucci on that girl'.Submitted by: giorgiss
Just pushed a hipster down the stairs.
I suppose you can say he's a tumblr.Submitted by: giorgiss
I went to a Asthma Awareness fashion show last week. I was shocked. Even the fat chicks were breathtaking.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I killed a man with a beard today.
Looking back, it was a poor weapon choice.Submitted by: giorgiss
I was arguing with my neighbour Mohammed's wife about how wrong the burka is and how ridiculous it looks.
I don't see her point though, I love wearing it!Submitted by: giorgiss
