My mate and I were sniffing cocaine off of a newspaper last night, and rather ironically the page we were snorting from was an editorial about the dangers casual drug use.
I thought it was more than sheer coincidence, but I suppose you could say I was reading between the linesSubmitted by: giorgiss
My long-term girlfriend should know by now how much I like jokes and tricks...
So if she actually turns up at church wearing a wedding dress on April 1st, more fool her.Submitted by: giorgiss
Lawyer: "You seem to be quite a bit smarter than the average witness from your background."
Witness: "Why thank You. I wish I wasn't under Oath so I could return the compliment!"Submitted by: giorgiss
Nottingham is the gun capital of the UK.
If you ask me, they need a sheriff.Submitted by: giorgiss
My wife said, "Come on now... It's not the first time you've been premature is it?"
"I know," I replied, "But I just get over excited sometimes.. I can't help it."
"Right.. Let's sort this out. I'll get the decorations down and you put the Christmas tree back in the attic until December."Submitted by: giorgiss
Lost in the desert for three days, a man suddenly hears, "Mush!"
Looking up, he sees what he thinks is a mirage: an Eskimo on a sled, driving a team of huskies. To his surprise, the sledge comes to a stop at his feet seconds later.
"I don't know why you're here, but thank goodness," the man says. "I've been lost for days."
Panting, the Eskimo replies, "You think you're lost?"Submitted by: giorgiss
You know you're a bit of a loser when you resort to posting jokes on here using your mobile phone on the way to work.
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Sent from my iPhone by O2.Submitted by: giorgiss
I've just developed the superpower to turn invisible when no one is looking at me.
Submitted by: giorgiss
A girl's legs are her best friends...but even the best of friends must part.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Beaver 1: "The river has flooded....The cascading water is ruining all of our homes!"
Beaver 2: "Dammit!"Submitted by: giorgiss
