I went out for a few beers with my mates one Friday night and didn't get back until the next Tuesday.
When I arrived home my wife was really upset.
It can't have been me who upset her, I wasn't even there.Submitted by: giorgiss
My wife said that she wanted a chat, so I agreed to sit down with her for an hour.
She started going on about how 'sickipedia' is taking over my life.
I said "Slow down there, tiger. You've got another 57 minutes yet.Submitted by: giorgiss
A lot of people think I make up all my wordplay jokes myself but I actually have a team of comedians, writers and researchers helping me out.
Oh yes, I have a punning clan.Submitted by: giorgiss
SickiLeaks - people copying our jokes and putting them as their Facebook status and playing along as if they made them up since 2006
Submitted by: giorgiss
I had a good clear out in the attic yesterday.
No toilet paper up there though.Submitted by: giorgiss
Paddy: Hey Murphy, do you like Eminem?
Murphy: What, the chocolate?
Paddy: No, the rapper.
Murphy: What's so good about M&M's wrapper?Submitted by: giorgiss
If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Submitted by: giorgiss
When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend.
He had a real one.Submitted by: giorgiss
I feel sorry for kids nowadays, especially when they see a toy advertised on television.
They want it but can't have it because their parents have to be 18 or older to buy it.Submitted by: giorgiss
I walk past a camping site today.
Sorry, that should be past tense.Submitted by: giorgiss
