I am sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights and save the environment.
The last time I did that I ran over a cyclist.Submitted by: giorgiss
Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
Submitted by: giorgiss
Wish my friends were more like 'Google'.
It never judges me, no matter what I ask it to do.Submitted by: giorgiss
I hate private jokes, they really exclude everyone
Like when Jamie stole that sofa off a pick-up truckSubmitted by: giorgiss
I arranged a pessimists meeting today,
It wasn't a great turn out, the room was half empty.Submitted by: giorgiss
Statistically, 22/7 Americans love Pie.
Submitted by: giorgiss
'Are you aware of the phrase delusions of grandeur?'
'Yes, since I made it up.'Submitted by: giorgiss
The App 'Temple Run' is just like the real world
Monkeys chasing a white man for his coinsSubmitted by: giorgiss
Gingers are a lot like silver X-box live.
They get around and talk but they never get invited to parties.Submitted by: giorgiss
There are some benefits to living on a council estate.
Submitted by: giorgiss
