I hate those sayings that use examples to emphasise how bad they are.
They're as much use as a pedal-powered wheelchair!!Submitted by: giorgiss
Why don't girls take me seriously?
Looks like I have a spare ticket to the gun show.Submitted by: giorgiss
At my funeral, I want the the vicar to say "in the end, the risk far outweighed the chocolate biscuit".
Submitted by: giorgiss
Always look on the dark side of life
It's much easier on the eyesSubmitted by: giorgiss
I used to juggle two jobs. I'm still a street performer, but for some reason I was sacked from the grenade factory.
Submitted by: giorgiss
My sister always dreamt of the day when she'd be whisked off her feet.
Though she screamed when she fell into the vat at the meringue factory.Submitted by: giorgiss
The USA have been responsible for the creation of the atomic bomb, demolition derbies and expensive satellites used to search for aliens. It just goes to show, the Americans have a long history of making nothing out of something.
Submitted by: giorgiss
My wife said she was at a loose end.
So I tightened her noose.Submitted by: giorgiss
My neighbour asked if he could borrow some snow from my snowman.
I just gave him the cold shoulder.Submitted by: giorgiss
If first impressions count, you're best doing what I do and sticking to Dustin Hoffman in 'Rain Man'.
Submitted by: giorgiss
