When a punter in an Amsterdam nightclub insults a hooker for downing two shots of a green liqueur in short order, she knocks him out cold with one punch.
'Aahh', I thought, 'absynth makes the tart grow stronger'Submitted by: giorgiss
If an infinite number of monkeys were given typewriters...
...it would go some way to reducing the unemployment figures.Submitted by: giorgiss
"You're enough to drive a man to drink." I said.
"What do you mean?" she retorted.
"Give us a lift to the pub?"Submitted by: giorgiss
I'm a firm believer in always going that extra mile.
Or sometimes even more when it's a dumb American tourist I have in the back of my cab.Submitted by: giorgiss
I've just built a new heroin rehabilitation centre.
In order to discourage any drug use we store all paraphenalia in hay stacks.Submitted by: giorgiss
I never really understood Idioms until I was sitting watching tv one night and my house collapsed...
It came down on me like a ton of bricks.Submitted by: giorgiss
My Mother-in-law used to say, "If at first you don't succeed try and try again."
A philosophy that came back to haunt her as I struck her for the eighth time with my claw hammer.Submitted by: giorgiss
Just spent a week building a time machine.
There's seven days i'll get back.Submitted by: giorgiss
I saw this kid coming out of McDonald's with a happy meal.
I punched him in the face and nicked it.
Turns out there is such a thing as a free lunch.Submitted by: giorgiss
EA Sports, its in the game session no longer available
Submitted by: giorgiss
