I always eat lots of fruit to stay healthy but I don't like apples and pears.
That's why I eat oranges in my ground floor flat.Submitted by: giorgiss
I've been promising my bosses at top shop a new range of leg garments that would turn over millions, but after failing to finish the product in the 2 month deadline set, they finally fired me, guess I was all talk, no trousers.
Submitted by: giorgiss
The first man to say 'a Dog is a man's best friend', probably had no friends.
Submitted by: giorgiss
My wife is down in the dumps tonight.
I would have taken the rubbish down there myself but the darts is on.Submitted by: giorgiss
I've just heard that B&Q are going to buy out a now defunct arts and crafts shop.
That'll be a spanner in the works.Submitted by: giorgiss
I was on cloud nine when I thought...
I really should give my sheep better names.Submitted by: giorgiss
I've been fishing for five hours now and the only thing in my net is two compliments.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I recently hacked into the bank account of a famous musician and transferred 250 000 to my current account.
I'm living life on the edge.Submitted by: giorgiss
Paddy's comparisons of women to men on Take me Out:
'let the banana see the split'
'let the doctor see the patient'
More like let the jam see the tarts.Submitted by: giorgiss
"All that glitters is not gold" - Claire from Claire's Accessories.
Submitted by: giorgiss
