I was really excited about opening a savings account, but once I started taking money out, I just lost interest.
Submitted by: giorgiss
If money is the root of all evil, how come I'm skint?
Submitted by: giorgiss
I've had a real run of luck recently that I just can't explain. It started last week when I won the lottery.
Ever since then I've had no end of girls wanting to sleep with me.
And men. Weird eh?Submitted by: giorgiss
Finally, my money problems have all gone out the window.
Unusually on the same day as my wife did.Submitted by: giorgiss
I opened up a business selling trampolines to Eastern Europeans, but it's not going well... the Czechs keep bouncing.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Headline from the Daily Express
'2 Million Pound Benefits for Dad of 10'
Good luck to the guy, but should we be paying these huge amounts of money to somebody his age?Submitted by: giorgiss
When they want to make an area graffiti proof, why don't they just coat the area with the paper you get on the back of credit cards?
It's the only material in the world that is totally impossible to write on.Submitted by: giorgiss
I went to the bank the other day and asked the cashier for a statement. She said 'My name is Carol and I work at the bank'.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I gave my son a piggy bank for his birthday, "you'll thank me for this when you're grown-up and getting married" I told him.
"Is it so I can save up and treat my future bride to the wedding day of her dreams?" He asked.
"No son, I just want you to get used to the fact that you're going to end up with a pig that takes every penny".Submitted by: giorgiss
They say two heads are better than one.
Regardless, the royal mint rejected my coin design.Submitted by: giorgiss
