Jokes in category: “money”:

Next is lot number 049 - The statue of liberty.
Bidding will start at $8.00

Submitted by: giorgiss

I used to enjoy working in a bank, but recently I've lost interest.

Submitted by: giorgiss

I almost found a fiver on the street this morning.
I was 4.99 short.

Submitted by: giorgiss

So Nationwide have said that they were "disappointed" that it took six hours before someone reported that one of their cash machines was paying out too much money.
I wonder if that is a different kind of "disappointed" felt by their customers with base rate tracker mortgages when they said they were not going to reduce the rate just because base rates had been reduced?
Or people who were "disappointed" that they have been charged 30 for going overdrawn by 10?

Submitted by: giorgiss

My bank manager doesn't give my business ideas the credit they deserve.

Submitted by: giorgiss

I realised we were poor growing up when my mother said, "Don't go spilling anything on the tablecloth, your father hasn't read it yet."

Submitted by: giorgiss

Money can't buy you happiness but it can buy you jet skis, and when did you ever see an unhappy jet skier?

Submitted by: giorgiss

I won the 500,000 prize on the Premium Bonds and called a reputable Swiss bank.
"I would like to place half a million pounds with you," I whispered to the cashier.
"Feel free to speak up, sir," he said. "In our bank, being poor is nothing to be ashamed of."

Submitted by: giorgiss

Benefit claimants - keep yourself warm and save money during the cold winter months by doing stuff, and moving around a bit.

Submitted by: giorgiss

I owed some Israelis about 200.
But now I've paid my Jews.

Submitted by: giorgiss