I saw this girl last night and she looked amazing. An American would say she looked like a million dollars.
But being British I thought that she looked like 659,674.12Submitted by: giorgiss
If I had a pound for every clich I've ever used, I'd be a millionaire by now.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Gold.
Worth its weight in gold.Submitted by: giorgiss
Dear student loan, thank you for saving my life.
I can't think how I can ever repay you.Submitted by: giorgiss
When I was a kid we were so poor,
we would go to KFC and lick other peoples fingers.Submitted by: giorgiss
When a cab takes you home at night, the driver always rummages around in the change for ages hoping you'll give up and say, "Keep the change."
See how much they like it when it takes you ten minutes to find the door handle.Submitted by: giorgiss
This woman walked up to me in the park, opened her long coat to reveal she was totally naked underneath, and said "feel free to look down". I obliged, and I was certainly very pleased by what I saw.
There was 20p on the ground in front of her.Submitted by: giorgiss
To the person who dropped a roll of notes at Liverpool Street...
...Good news...
I've handed your elastic band in to the Lost PropertySubmitted by: giorgiss
Was on an American flight yesterday and bought a couple of things from the in-flight bar.
The air hostess said "That's $4.50, we would appreciate it if you had the correct money, if possible sir".
So I gave her some Sterling.Submitted by: giorgiss
Bankers never die...
They just lose interest.Submitted by: giorgiss
