When it comes to chat up lines, vampires don't have much luck.
"Have you got a mirror in your knickers love? because I can't see myself in there tonight."Submitted by: giorgiss
Fairy tales are so unrealistic.
It's not the dragons, or the witches, or even all the magic.
It's the fact that there are all those sleeping princesses, and not once do you hear about them being the victims of opportunist rapists.Submitted by: giorgiss
What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears?
"How did you make porridge without opposable thumbs?"Submitted by: giorgiss
I wish my wife was more like the wanted.
She's never glad I came.Submitted by: giorgiss
Went to a zombie party last night.
It was dead at first but eventually things started coming alive.Submitted by: giorgiss
I found myself turning into a vampire last night.
My car hit Hilary Devey on a street corner.Submitted by: giorgiss
Dear Children
When you look under your bed, what exactly is it you are planning to do when you find me.
Sincerely The BogeymanSubmitted by: giorgiss
Twilight is so pointless i mean why do they not just have a threesome and have it done with instead of wasting my time with all of these films.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I took out four zombies with my baseball bat last night,and unbelievably the Police have put me up on a murder charge.
I honestly didnt realise it was my wife and her friends with face packs on.Submitted by: giorgiss
Went to the library today and asked have you got any books on mysterious disappearances?
The librarian said " Well, they used to be over there......"Submitted by: giorgiss
