I've just wrecked myself. I wish I'd checked myself beforehand.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Today cops found all the stolen organs at my work but were still missing a heart.
I finally gave up and said,''Home...Is where the heart is.''Submitted by: giorgiss
I'm absolutely gutted. My wife just left me. She took everything exept a few cadburys chocolate biscuits...on the other hand I've more fingers
Submitted by: giorgiss
"the worst way to stop a bullet is with your head"
-Abraham LinconSubmitted by: giorgiss
'A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.'
Well I'm missing one so how will this play out...Submitted by: giorgiss
It's true when people say, "You don't know what you've got till it's gone."
I had a life before I got married, now it's gone.Submitted by: giorgiss
You know what they say: You can take the man out of Manchester... but then it would be called Chester.... Which could be very misleading.
Submitted by: giorgiss
My mate said "all cleaners are thick slags."
'Bit of a sweeping statement' I thought.Submitted by: giorgiss
I was standing with my soon to be ex wife when my lawyer handed me our divorce papers and I asked. " is that it done then?"
"No." He replied. " It's not over 'til the fat lady signs."Submitted by: giorgiss
I have a kinky fetish for weather conditions.
Blowing a gale outside.Submitted by: giorgiss
