If I can buy shampoo at the shops, where can I buy real poo?
Submitted by: giorgiss
I'm very experienced in the bedroom department. I've worked at the one in Ikea for the last 20 years.
Submitted by: giorgiss
My wife was ill so I had to do the shopping for the first time ever. She said, "You'll need a shopping trolley. They're outside by the entrance. You have to put a pound in to release them."
I went to the entrance, put my pound in, and pushed it into the store.
I got some funny looks, but I enjoyed hearing Postman Pat's theme tune as I pushed his van round the shop.Submitted by: giorgiss
I went down the local green grocers today and asked for three pounds of Potatoes.
The guy shook his head "Its kilo's nowadays mate"
"Oh, Three pounds of Kilos then please"Submitted by: giorgiss
If I have four apples in my right hand and six in my left, why aren't I using a bag?
Submitted by: giorgiss
I bought a suppository from Ikea.
I had to put it up myself.Submitted by: giorgiss
My wife hates me going shopping with her 'cause I always put stuff we don't need in the trolley.
Last time it was two teenage school girls.Submitted by: giorgiss
Fun game: find a combination of two items that most freaks out the cashier.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I rang up the Home Shopping Network earlier.
They said, "Can I help you?"
To which I replied, "No thanks, I'm just looking."Submitted by: giorgiss
Don't bother wasting money on subscribing to expensive adult web sites or calling 0898 phone numbers.
Just phone your local department store and ask them to describe their latest selection of ladies' lingerie, while masturbating furiously.Submitted by: giorgiss
