70% off everything in Woolworths today.
It's not even worth shoplifting there now.Submitted by: giorgiss
I sold some odds and ends on eBay the other day to the Pope.
I knew it was him, because he used his papal account.Submitted by: giorgiss
I went into the general store today.
They wouldn't let me buy anything specific.Submitted by: giorgiss
A Leb entered an discount appliance store in Box Hill and said to the Asian salesman, "I want to buy that TV." The Asian salesman said to him, "I don't sell to Lebs."
Angry, the Leb left, determined to buy the TV. He waited three days, grew a beard, and then entered the store again. He found a different Asian salesman and said that he wanted to buy the TV. The Asian salesman said, "We don't sell to Lebs."
Even more angry, the Leb went home, shaved, put on a dress and makeup and entered the store as a woman. He asked the Asian again, but got the same answer. Puzzled, he told the Asian salesman, "I've changed my disguise three times and gone to a different salesman. How did you know I was Lebanese?"
To which the Asian replied, "Sir, this is a microwave."Submitted by: giorgiss
Condoms, the only reason I use the self serve checkout.
Submitted by: giorgiss
They had a sale in my local butchers today, 2 rump steaks for 5. I asked "How much is one?"
"One is 3.50" said the butcher .
"OK, i'll have the other one" I replied.Submitted by: giorgiss
I walked into a shop this morning and the sign clearly stated 'Open'.
Yet, on the way out, it said 'Closed'. Weird. Half an hour I stood there unsure of what to do, before I was led away by some kind people.Submitted by: giorgiss
I wonder why "24/7" shops have locks on their doors.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I went into a dry cleaners today.
"How much for two suits?"
"25, sir."
"And do you do alterations?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good, can you make it 15?"Submitted by: giorgiss
I was in a supermarket the other day and I saw a man and a woman wrapped up in a barcode.
I said, "Are you two an item?"Submitted by: giorgiss
