I went to visit my wife in hospital after she got run over by a car.
She said she felt tyred and exhausted.Submitted by: giorgiss
I took my car in for a service yesterday.
You should have seen the look on the minister's face.Submitted by: giorgiss
When I was older, I used to love playing around with time machines.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I was at baggage reclaim at the airport and some Green lunatic was standing on the luggage carousel ranting and raving about carbon footprints and air travel.
I said, "Mate, just get off my case will you?"Submitted by: giorgiss
I was on a date with this really attractive girl. Well, it wasn't a date, date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie.
Then the plane landed.Submitted by: giorgiss
Do you ever notice that when you're driving, that anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
Submitted by: giorgiss
I have just finished my time machine, still got a few teething problems though.
So far I can only get it to go forwards in time and only very slowly.Submitted by: giorgiss
I walked into the newsagents and asked if they sold Oyster Cards.
The cashier said, "For the bus?"
I said, "No, it's my oyster's birthday."Submitted by: giorgiss
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.Submitted by: giorgiss
My driving instructor told me, NEVER brake if there's an animal in the road.
You should have seen the look on the copper's face as I knocked him off his horse.Submitted by: giorgiss
