My wife went into labour today so we went straight to the hospital.
"Come on darling push, you can do it, keep pushing, I know it's knackering but you've got to push, that's it you're nearly there, go on girl one last push, well done sweetheart I'm so proud of you, now I'll just lock up the car and I'll meet you in the delivery suite".Submitted by: giorgiss
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome on board this Ryanair flight.
In the event of a sudden drop in cabin pressure, masks will drop down from above you. Please insert 5 Euros for oxygen.Submitted by: giorgiss
I was asked if I've ever fallen asleep whilst driving.
I said "Not that I remember, but I have woken up driving several times"Submitted by: giorgiss
I hate it whenever I'm in the car and I see one of those road signs that says "Draw Bridge Ahead" and I don't have a pencil.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Women can't drive in Saudi Arabia.
And we say we're the civilised ones.Submitted by: giorgiss
I hate getting into the car after my wife has used it, I have to put everything back where it was before.
Like the mirror, seat, airbag....Submitted by: giorgiss
I bought a second hand FedEx van today.
I hate the colour and the uniform, but I can park it anywhere.Submitted by: giorgiss
Scotland's friendliest motorway?
M8.Submitted by: giorgiss
95% of GM cars made in the last year are still on the road, 5% made it home.
Submitted by: giorgiss
On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
"What's the matter? Are you sick?" he asked.
"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing."Submitted by: giorgiss
