The other day, a little paki boy ran out in front of my car and I hit him. Then I remembered that because I was only doing 30, there was an 80% chance that he would live.
So I reversed over him a couple of times, to bring the odds down a bit.Submitted by: giorgiss
I taught myself to drive by playing racing games on the Playstation.
I'm pretty good at it, I've got loads of points on my licence.Submitted by: giorgiss
I never really understood what irony was.
Until I saw a female ambulance driver.Submitted by: giorgiss
I've bought a Dodge Charger off eBay.
Now all I've got to do is find an electric Dodge.Submitted by: giorgiss
ATTENTION: Tonight I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses world war II and Wednesday comes after Tuesday.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Why won't Al Qaida ever bomb a Ryanair flight?
Because they want to go straight to paradise, not 30 miles away and take a taxi.Submitted by: giorgiss
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when an airport employee asked, "has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "if it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and added, "that's why we ask, sir."Submitted by: giorgiss
People who drink on buses will be barred from using them again.
All very good in theory but eventually they'll run out of drivers.Submitted by: giorgiss
There was panic in France this morning as the Channel Tunnel remains closed, cutting off the main French escape route to England.
Submitted by: giorgiss
BBC News: Peat-preserved 'Iron Age' road uncovered in UK
Archealologists say that, with its horrifically simple construction, poor design and use of basic materials, the M25 could be relaid with this new and superior discovery.Submitted by: giorgiss
