I was very surprised to find out this morning that my train was going to arrive on time for the first time in months,
So I eased up on the speed & pulled into the station 20 minutes late.Submitted by: giorgiss
Video game enthusiasts: For a stimulating experience, cover your car windscreen and drive using just your Sat Nav
Submitted by: giorgiss
Teenagers on 50cc mopeds,
South London's answer to Vuvuzelas.Submitted by: giorgiss
I've figured out how to avoid getting parking tickets;
I've taken the windscreen wipers off my car.Submitted by: giorgiss
I spend hours trying to get to sleep on aeroplanes in those stupid, uncomfortable seats.
I finally get drunk and drift off and the next thing I know I've got the air hostess waking me up, wanting me to make a stupid announcement and land the plane.Submitted by: giorgiss
The last time I went on holiday, I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take more toilet paper in future.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Electric railway lines, 21st century natural selection.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Hit me at 30 and there is an 80% chance I'll live.
Hit me at 40 and there is an 80% chance I'll die.
Hit me at 80 and I'll break my hip and fall down the stairs.Submitted by: giorgiss
I found a Land Rover buried in one of my fields.
It was a nice Discovery.Submitted by: giorgiss
I took my kids to a safari park today. They were all excited, saying, "Look daddy, look at the monkeys playing in those tyres hanging from that tree."
I said, "Calm down, kids, thats just the park - we havent left Birmingham yet."Submitted by: giorgiss
