If a woman asks you a question, choose what you say carefully. Chances are, she already knows the answer
Submitted by: giorgiss
Unwritten rules: we should just write them down and then there'd be no argument.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Wooden spoons are handy because you can use them to prepare food.
If you haven't got time for that, just write a number on one then take it to the pub and say, "Where's my dinner?"Submitted by: giorgiss
Shopkeepers - show you care for your loyal customers by clearing away all the snow from the path outside your store, leaving only a thin film of sheet ice underfoot for them to walk on.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Never ride faster than your Guardian Angel can fly
Submitted by: giorgiss
I think the argument for off centred seesaw's is a bit one sided.....
Submitted by: giorgiss
My mother once told me, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all," thoroughly crushing my dreams of one day becoming a film critic.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Don't get married! Just buy someone you don't like a house and let it be.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I have a tip for you
It's the end of my shaftSubmitted by: giorgiss
I was given the advice that being dark and mysterious is what girls want so I decided to try it out at the bar on a girl. "Do you believe in karma?" I asked.
"Yes I do," she replied.
"Well I'm going to get struck by lightening tomorrow for what I'm about to do to you," I said with a wink.
Apparently you can be too dark.Submitted by: giorgiss
