I recently realised that if I had given my exes as much attention as I had given my Playstation...I probably wouldn't be playing my playstation right now...
...but then I probably wouldn't be 10th prestige on C.O.D so it balances outSubmitted by: giorgiss
Never go into the water after a heavy meal.
You won't find it there.Submitted by: giorgiss
TIP:
Stop bread from drying out by keeping it in a bucket of water.Submitted by: giorgiss
I finally found an honest mechanic. He honestly doesn't know how to fix anything
Submitted by: giorgiss
My teacher said "Those who don't hear, must feel."
Apparently raping a girl when she doesn't respond to my flirting, isn't what he meant...Submitted by: giorgiss
My son has just turned 20 and asked me, "Dad, how will I know when I've become a man?"
I said, "The best way is to look at your day-dreams. A boy day-dreams about being a secret agent or being Spiderman. When you're a man you'll day-dream about a fully-intact hairline or the ability to maintain an erection."Submitted by: giorgiss
Keep wives and girlfriends on their toes by telling them they are the fattest girl you have ever been out with.
Submitted by: giorgiss
If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a water pistol and shoot people in the eyes.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Keep getting hard-ons in appropriate places? Sick of trying to hide your erection when standing up on the bus? Just do what I do, upload the sound of your front door opening and a laptop slamming shut onto your iPod, works a treat.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Never trust a woman who has a pet snake, or any pets, or no pets.
Submitted by: giorgiss
