I drove my daughter's guinea pig to the vet's this morning.
I'm quite handy with my new Callaway golf clubs.Submitted by: giorgiss
The WWF advert asks, "When the ice goes, where do the polar bears go?"
Well, swimming, I suppose.Submitted by: giorgiss
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. But how did they get in there?Submitted by: giorgiss
I bought a race horse and decided to call it "MY FACE".
Just imagine it running down the home straight with all the women shouting "COME ON MY FACE"!!Submitted by: giorgiss
I just sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent, now he'll never have any friends.
Submitted by: giorgiss
A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.
After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No, no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."Submitted by: giorgiss
People often say that I overuse non sequitur in my humour.
To get to the other side.Submitted by: giorgiss
When you catch a fish and put it back, do you reckon it goes back to its mates and says it was abducted by aliens?
Submitted by: giorgiss
Cigarettes are just like weasels.
Both are completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and try to set fire to them...Submitted by: giorgiss
9 out of 10 cats prefer Whiskas.
I know, I pulled them off my cat and it's never been the same since.Submitted by: giorgiss
