A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale."
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever >> sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk whenI was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."
"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."
"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars," the guy says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff."Submitted by: giorgiss
A dog walks into a bar. The barman says, "Excuse me, but whose dog is this? The sign outside clearly says NO DOGS ALLOWED"
The dog says, "Well, I'm not just any dog you know."
The barman says, "So what makes you so special?"Submitted by: giorgiss
For Sale: Golden Retriever, had for 9 months, has yet to retrieve gold. Should have just bought metal detector.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I decided to get my nephew a puppy for his birthday. As a surprise I decided to put it in a box, wrap it & put a bow on top to disguise the actual gift.
Top tip: make sure the dog isn't inside when putting air holes in the box with a screw driver.
My nephew was over the moon with his new remote control car.Submitted by: giorgiss
Hedgehogs: Why can't they share the hedge?
Submitted by: giorgiss
The Erectus Trouserius (also known as the trouser snake) is the worlds most dangerous snake. Colour varies, from pink to black. It is fang-less, average length is 5 to 9 inches depending on subspecies. Usually appears in bedrooms but found in unusual places at times. Attacks women in lower part of the abdominal area. Its highly venomous spit can cause prolonged swelling lasting 9 months. It has also been known to attack men from behind.
Submitted by: giorgiss
"Pets at Home - Where Pets Come First"
We'll see about thatSubmitted by: giorgiss
How is it that the people in the Churchill advert are completely OK with a talking dog, yet when this talking dog starts making wild claims they suddenly become all cynical?
Submitted by: giorgiss
My dog is a blacksmith.
Everytime I open the front door he makes a bolt for it.Submitted by: giorgiss
If moths like light so much, why don't they just come out during the day?
Submitted by: giorgiss
