How do you get a child to stop wetting the bed?
Give him an electric blanketSubmitted by: giorgiss
Ahhh memories. I remember my mother used to say "There's a train coming, there's a train coming" when she fed me. I used to gobble up the food.
Well if I didn't she wouldn't untie me from the tracks.Submitted by: giorgiss
I've got three children, one of each.
A boy, a girl and an 800-metre sprinter.Submitted by: giorgiss
My wife and I have seven kids, which I'll admit is an awful lot.
But we're committed, and we're going to keep on trying until we get one we like.Submitted by: giorgiss
My five year old son painted his 'Bob the Builder' action toy black.
I told him he's ruined it, it'll never work again.Submitted by: giorgiss
I just watched my daughter's netball team play for a place in the under eleven's final.
What a semi.Submitted by: giorgiss
I failed my driving test again, today. There were a couple of minors.
The examiner said that I was right slowing down by the school, but wolf whistling is a definite no-no.Submitted by: giorgiss
A little girl goes to a pet shop and asks "excuthe me do you have any widdle wabbits?"
The shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he is on her level and says "do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft fwuffy bwack wabbit, or one like that widdle bwown one over there?"
The little girl blushes, rocks back on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and whispers, " I don't wealy fink my anaconda gives a phuc."Submitted by: giorgiss
My wife and I had to run to the shops for five minutes, and so we left our four-year-old son unattended with a jigsaw to keep him amused.
Imagine our surprise when we came back to discover he had sawn off four of his fingers.Submitted by: giorgiss
'Boy of four dies in tumble dryer during a game of hide and seek'
Police say his last words were, "I'm getting warmer."Submitted by: giorgiss
