During a blazing row with my youngest son, he turned to me and screamed, "I wish I was adopted".
Well, its taken six months and a lot of paperwork, but finally I've managed to make his wish come true.Submitted by: giorgiss
"Your son just called me an old cow!" said my neighbour.
"That's disgraceful," I said. "I keep telling him not to judge people by their appearance."Submitted by: giorgiss
Just heard ex-nanny Louise Woodward is back in England and working at my local McDonald's.
All kids get a free shake.Submitted by: giorgiss
I was sat on the bus today when a little girl nearby, who had been on the bus for a good hour, said to her mum, "I can't feel my legs!"
I leaned over and asked politely, "Can I?"
And that's when the police got involved.Submitted by: giorgiss
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of Tampax and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued, "Do you know how these are used?"
The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They are for my brother he's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. He can't do either one."Submitted by: giorgiss
Child locks.
Preventing kids escaping from burning vehicles since the 1980s.Submitted by: giorgiss
I am going to call my kids Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they muck up I will just hit them all at once.
Submitted by: giorgiss
When I have a kid, I'm going to buy one of those prams for twins.
Then put the kid in it, and run around looking frantic.Submitted by: giorgiss
My son said to me yesterday, "Dad, my mum reckons I get my intelligence from her, is that right?"
I replied, "Well, it must be, I've still got mine."Submitted by: giorgiss
I was watching my son splashing around in the bath this morning.
Unfortunately my wife came in and grabbed him before he drowned.Submitted by: giorgiss
