Today I am going to be a dad for the first time.
Neglecting my kids for the last 12 years is probably long enough.Submitted by: giorgiss
I was never my parents favourite when I was growing up.
Which, considering I'm an only child...Submitted by: giorgiss
I would like to put forward my nomination for the "Protester Of The Year Award"...
Every weekday morning and afternoon without fail there is a man who stands outside our local school protesting. He dresses himself all in yellow and he holds a small round placard that simply reads "Stop Children"
That to me is dedication to a worthy cause and deserves recognition.Submitted by: giorgiss
I decided to sponsor a third world child.
As it turns out he was too malnourished to finish the fun run so I didn't pay him.Submitted by: giorgiss
I was talking with my girlfriend last night when I said that ugly children are terrible and should be kept in a cage.
She didn't take it well at all. She stared at me and angrily said, "Well, what would you do if I gave birth to a child that was ugly?"
I replied, "I'd love it as if it were my own!"Submitted by: giorgiss
I thought I'd give my children a surprise this Christmas.
So I didn't buy them anything.Submitted by: giorgiss
TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY : You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.Submitted by: giorgiss
Apparently, when your teenage child appears from their room after many hours perfecting their "look", you are not supposed to laugh.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I used to think Santa Claus was a paedophile... Turned out it was my uncle Frank all along.
Submitted by: giorgiss
My wife just gave birth to our son, he was six nine and healthy.
I think I'll have to buy him a new cot though, because I didn't expect him to be that tall.Submitted by: giorgiss
