I'm red all over. From my head tomatoes.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Warning: Women do not see the funny side if you cook them scrambled eggs in an attempt to cheer them up after they've had an abortion.
Submitted by: giorgiss
They've just brought out non-alcoholic Cider...
Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's Apple Juice!Submitted by: giorgiss
I am thinking of going on the next series of Dragons Den with a toaster actually big enough to take a full slice of bread.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I was reading through the ingredients for a fruit salad I'm making today and it said:
"Pineapples: five cubed."
I'm not sure though, 125 will probably be too many.Submitted by: giorgiss
Apparently, 50,000 died from driving last year and 10,000 died from drinking, Yet only 500 died from drink driving. Then again, only 2 people died from drink driving and juggling. I think thats my safest way home then.
Submitted by: giorgiss
To all the fat ladies out there, remember, stressed is desserts spelt backwards.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I was eating a Granny Smith earlier.
She didn't seem to know what was happening but at least she was grateful.Submitted by: giorgiss
I was at a party with some mates the other day and one of them said to me, "Is that the queue for the punch bowl over there?"
So I went over to the queue to find out and was told that it was actually for the buffet and that the punch had all gone.
So, as a result, there was no punch line.Submitted by: giorgiss
I ate twenty yoghurts in a row last night.
I was mullered.Submitted by: giorgiss
